unusual you.

this week has been quite the week. i started my new job on tuesday and im sure i screwed up royaly. i know i did on wednesday, but i think im getting better. this week has also been stressful with trying to get things done. i need to get like 2 assignments in for both science and math. i think when i get my sheets in for math, i should have a 65% and that means i can exempt that shit! next semester i dont know what i want to exempt. i am really stressed about when i have to work. lululemon opened today and we tryed to get in, but it was hella busy and they were only letting in 20 people at a time -_-. but i had fun. i hope i didnt talk stevies and raeannes ears off =/ lol. ugh, i still need to go see twilight. blah, i work @ dynasty tomorrow. at least i get paid. and i have to put in my two weeks. that shall be fun shit. i am so freaking excited for tuesday. circus comes out and im pretty sure thats when blue bloods III comes out too. i will have 2 books on the go. well i was going to try and see twilight tonight, but that didnt happen. i will probably have to go on a school night or something when i have no homework and when im not working. if i work on sunday, then i will be working with hannah and jessica! but i hope hannah doesnt leave and talk to people. i hate people who do that. fuck slackers. i am constantly working my ass off at work. i think im getting better at counting money! and there havent been many complainers. except for maybe 3 so far. and all i have to say about you is hahahahahhahaha. everyone is so sleepy in my house tonight. im thinking i will head to bed at about 9. so i can read some more and stuff like that. okay so i kinda like a guy at work. i think thats a bad thing. fuck i dont like it when i like guys. it makes me feel weird inside. like obsessive. i want to be one of those old ladys who is alone in a mobile house. and make cookies and read all day. i want to be like my grandma! i love her. i should see her again asap. tell her i got a new job. hopefully i can keep this one for a few months. i think i need to pick myself up. and get to it.

im just fine since i have been without you.

so yesterday was kind of a slum. im pretty sure i failed my math test. i fucking blanked halfway though it. but work yesterday was fun. i was the "run-arounder". i sat maybe like 2 groups of 2. the one couple were awesome. the guy had dreads and was really nice to me =). and today shouldnt be so bad except for the wind, and i have a funny feeling it is going to be really busy today. yesterday was soooo slow. it was boring. but, i did get my third book that came out on tuesday. im on chapter 3. i should do some reading right now. but i am going to eventually be going out later. but i should still read it. i get to stay at a hotel with my dad tonight. it should be interesting. blah, i have some stupid homework this weekend. stupid science teacher is crazy. lol, supposedly he has a new girlfriend. i started to lol when he said something about girlfriend. that wont last long. hahhahaha.

well it aint no surprise.

lately i have been feeling like complete and udder shit. this weekend hasnt been the greatest and christmas is coming up. i have no idea what to get anybody. i wish i could move out of my house because i have had enough of what goes on here and what my mom tells XXXX (i really dont want to say the name). people tell me that i am important and they love me but its so hard to believe. they are just empty words. i feel like i have to try harder then everybody else. its hard for me just to do anything when im having a hard time. like none of my friends know what im going through and they just say you have such a good life. well you dont know my past life or my life behind closed doors so shut the fuck up. and it feels like everyone is talking behind my back. sometimes i can see why people do things.
> isnt everybody a little bit hypocritical?

standing in the way of control.

i want to go to a place where no one knows me. i want to start all over. i need to change my attitude i just need to change everything. i want to forget about everything that has happened to me and start new. but where i am at now, that isnt going to happen. if my loved ones are going west, i want to go east. if they are going north, i want to go south. just me being here makes me unhappy and reminds me of everything negative that has ever happened. i want to go and do things that i have always wanted to do. i feel weighed down like i have people standing in my way from what i wish to do. but i am always afraid of rejection. sometimes i feel that the only person who is standing in the way of control, is me.

the light is white.

i am so angry right now.
1) i failed my math test and i am sure as hell sure i failed my science test too.
2) i HAVE to work on halloween. fuck.
i am so mad that only 3 people at work do anything (me included). the other guy doesnt do shit. im sick of working at places who dont hire reliable workers. i need a new fucking job that spaces my hours out. i wish i could of gotten hired at london road, or gap, or bluenotes. i am basically this close to quitting my job. no lies. because i honestly doubt i will get a decent job until i have quit. another reason i am mad is because of all this halloween stuff. this has been planned since forever and its like you cant have it off because you have had like 2 weekends off already. like fuck, thats not my fault. one weekend my fucking mother was getting married, the other, i didnt even know till like last minute. i obvs can't be at work when im in the fucking pass. fuck. i wish i had my cousins life. she has it so easy, she has looks that could kill and she has a husband that makes a lot of money, and has a nice house in calgary. fuck. i want to disappear.

you're a womanizer, oh.

so lately i have been really thinking about things. like how twilight is such bull shit and thinking about talking to her and him again. even though talking to her would be awkward and he wouldnt accept my apology. and i dont think i want to even live with my auntie renee anymore. i would rather live with my auntie gail or auntie sonya. because i like their lifestyles. i really wish adele hadnt came into my dad's life. she has fucked up everything. thanks to her my dad has probably moved at least once a year. i have had no bedroom that i could call my own. if they dont have a house soon enough, his chances of me living with him are slim to none. with adele being there they were already slim.
i hate that i am such a bitch to other guys. like bus boy for instance. all he wanted to know what was up. and i had to go and be a jerk about it and now i see him all the time. if i keep acting like this i will never get a date, or even later on in life, married. i mean, i really want to change the way i am and stop being so judemental but when you get to be the way you are and you have your habits, they are so hard to break. then there is school. science i am doing pretty good in but math is another story. i really hate it. and when my dad talks to me about it, he wont be happy with my grades. but who ever said i was going to tell him in the first place. not unless he got them faxed or something. i dont really know what to think.

i am thinking of you.

• why are am i on your friends list if you like me that much?
• its october. my mom is married. i need to let go.
• i hope i get a job at bluenotes or gap. that would be ballin'
• LOL jamie lynn spears is a SLUT.
• i dont know why you wont tell anybody. its not good to bottle up your emotions. i would know. if you dont tell anyone what happened, i will start guessing.
• what was with the move on wednesday?
  
• it is nice knowing that you have people that care for you. i am starting to feel like i have more friends. its nice being close and talking to someone different.
  
• i am happy that you were able to let go. they were not worth your time. you would have been something you arent if you were still with them.
  

in pursuing design.

you can call out friendship over. i have been nothing but nice to you and now you just turn against me? what is this with you and being a bitch. i thought we were pretty close. you dont talk to me anymore even though i try to start talking to you, you just ignore me. you have changed so much since you have become a vegitarian. i honestly hope you feel guilty about your friendship with your other friend. i hope you feel like you were a bitch to him. you deserve a taste of your own medicine. and today when you were laughing at my hair, why dont you fuck off. i could laugh at you. but i dont. i dont want to be a bitch to you. i cannot wait till you turn on your own bestfriend. dont come running to me.

money diamonds gold and ice.

okay so i have an early christmas list already! because i want so many god damn things. haha.

• mac book
• sewing machine
• rockband 2
• money
• clothes

but on the other hand, i feel like i am hated all around. like, no one talks to me anymore. honestly, what did i ever do or say to you that made you feel this way about me. like i dont usually keep grudges, but you are making me hate you even more. everyone is so goddamn kniving these days. you are going to have barely any friends when you move on. even your best friend might turn on you. everyone needs a fresh start some day.

copper II sulfate.

okay, so recently, i got sick. i feel like shit and im supposed to be at work. i cant really breathe and my ear hurts because i got my rook pierced. and like no one knows what the hell it is. haha. if i feel worse tomorrow, i dont know what im going to do. my pay check isnt going to be that big. but i dont care. i dont really feel that bad about not being at work because i am actually sick. its not like im faking sick. LOL. and today i skipped math. im being bad today. but i literally feel like shit. at least i got my eyeshadow i wanted and i got some earrings and a few other things. well since i can barely breathe and talk, im out.

houuuuse.

1) today was awkward. i wish i could talk to boys but im so used to fucking them over. and i never really had any "guy friends" either. so if anyone hits on me, i will just say fuck off. or just laugh at them.
2) you are so effing two faced. asking me about my piercing? and seeming all happy? wtf. you are about as scene as i am.
3) my dad always wants to see my at the wrong time. im so scared im gonna fail science. my teacher is effing crazy. talking about his drunken or sober roomies. and him all mangled. that makes me lul e'ryday.
4) i have been feeling awkwardly sick lately. like stomach sick. i dont know why. its like when im in a car/bus or when im at home. i want to stay home, but i dont want to miss school.
5) holy effing shit. i love fashions. im loving my dress. i love everything dealing with fashions.
6) i need to stop going to greens.

we lied, we can't go on.

wow. this has been a slow two days. oh well. im getting my hair did on thursday and all i know is how i want it cut. i dont know what i want to do with the color. something funky. i made my first DIY project. it went fairily smooth. last friday i got my belly button pierced. its hard to believe i have it. it hurt a little. but on saturday im getting an ear piercing. =) omg. the new nano's suck ass. except for the colours. thats fckin sweet. i want one kind of, but my ipod isnt full yet. so yah. gotta jet. pce.

'cause a hoe won't trust me.

get the fuck over yourself. you take everything so personally. let it go. yah what i said was a little hypocritical. and yes i will probably get more piercings. okay. you need to learn to stop taking things to heart. you will have more enemies than friends. get over yourself.

on the school front, i kind of wish i kept cosmo. this semester is kind of messed up now that i have independent calm. i wish i could of gotten it next semester. oh well. maybe i will just have 2 spares. and no one will no i am really in grade eleven. hahaha.

my dad wants me to stay with him when my mom goes to san fran. like you will ever have your house up and going then. i am planned to stay with my auntie and uncle. its either that or im staying with my auntie gail. ugh. i hate life sometimes. but for the time being, im having a blast. =)

wake me up.

okay so the first day of school went alright. i have at least one person i know in every class. which is pretty cool. im really scared for math though. i NEED to pass. i need to get back those credits because im probably not going to take math 30. because i dont know how i will be able to take that diploma. but for the most part, i should be okay. my science teacher is crazy. but cool at the same time. i dont know how i will be able to keep a straight face. lol. but i am getting my industrial done on friday. its gonna hurt like a motha'. haha. i hope i get a new job soon. i am considering going on the london/paris trip. but im not sure if i can get 4000 dollars by easter. im pretty excited for october. except for my mothers wedding... and her going to san fran. oh well. maybe they will buy me something from san fran. =)

i move it.

ugh. i dont feel too well today. i would rather stay home. but i think i get paid this weekend. so i need to buy some things. with the sad money i will probably get. but i got an interview with boston pizza. and i have high hopes. even though i would rather work at a clothing store. oh well. ugh i hate working fridays. we get to paper every fucking where. and i usually dont get off till ten. i wish i could go to new york. i want to go see new york couture. wahh. today is such a blah day for me. it would be nice to sleep. and school starts on the second. bye bye summer oh eight. hello hell.

high as a kite.

"originality died a long time ago, learn to deal with it"

i am leaning to deal with lots.
this is one of them.

slowing down.

i think im trying too hard.

j'ai fâché. (2)

i am so frustrated. donny and brandon are such fucking jerks. i mean, i can see where donny is going, but he could say it nicer. ugh. i swear, anywhere i go im going to be working with jerks, or people who dont do shit. pretty soon i swear, im going to snap. then what are they going to do. i dont really care. i need a better job. i dont want to be running fucking everywhere. why can't i be a receptionist that answers calls and shops online? lol.

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you buddy.

since i am going to burst at my seams i might as well let you all know. okay. i got my schedule today. ITS FUCKING STUPID. i have like 1 or 2 spares both semesters. my first semester i have THREE cores. THATS IT. I DIDNT EVEN FUCKING GET FASHIONS. FUCK YOU. nor did i get a science. IM NOT GOING TO FUCKING GRADUATE WITH THAT FOR FUCKING CREDITS. are you guys fucking out of your fucking mind. im not too happy. plus on top of that, FUCKING MOLESTER is staying at my house wanting to know everything about me. like how i am doing, what i am eating, "decent", shit like that. i want them to fucking leave. i dont want to work tomorrow. i need a new job. i need to get out. fuck sakes. i can understand why people smoke and drink. ugh. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck meeeeeeeeeeeee.

you know what?

• im done.

im done with your games. im done with the drama. im fucking done. you want to make assumptions? go ahead. you want to say shit? i dont care. because im not going to pay attention to anyone who is going to make my life difficult. i am having enough difficulty. i dont need more shit on top of that. and i am dropping everything. cant you? forgive & forget.

j'ai fâché.

okay. this isnt exactly the feeling you should feel when you get back from a 8 day holiday. but i am pretty angry. you seemed like such a bitch when i was with you. asking a little favor and you would be like oh blah blah blah and earlier when i asked you said it would be no problem. what changed your mind since july? and then when you blogged and then all i said was one word then everyone has to be beaking me for it? fuck sakes. its my opinion. plus i thought you had said that you didnt like those piercings. im dissapointed in you. but what am i to say. its not my body. lets clear my piercing theory. i think piercings are okay if: 1) people dont play with it. ex. touching it, pulling it, etc. 2) if its different, but not gross. ex. ear piercings (conch, vertical industrial, double nose (imma get it one of these days). i also dont mind belly button piercings because you cant see them but what the point really? but i dont care. im not going to be a pierce face like those damned 'scene' kids.

but overall the bc trip was awesome. all of those cute boys. so much for boys in lethbridge. and all the good shopping. but it is nice being home. i getta see my kitty (and he is purring by my side as i speak... more like type... and being able to sleep in my own bed for once is going to be nice. i dont want school to start. going to have to get some more supplies... blahhh.

oh and as for breaking dawn. i kind of agree that bella shouldnt have been able to have gotten pregnant. just adding more shit to the story line will just make more loose ends. like i dont feel totally satisfied with the book. but it is what it is and no matter how much you try to protest against it, its not going to make her write another sequel to breaking dawn. and different people will have different reactions to the book. oh well. c'est la vie.

that dumb bitch, your fucking done.

honest to fuck. this is getting way out of hand. everyone just gets piercings for vanity or just because they want metal shoved through their face. i mean come on its not attractive and wont make you any more attractive then you already are. do you honestly want scars all over your face when your like 50 years old and telling your kids thats from piercings? no. and im not going to go get a piercing because everyone will just say "oh your coping me". well guess what my friend some one else in the world probably has that piercing. i was wanting a piercing but all i would really want is my nose. and like there are so many women out there who are older and has is for vanity. has this what the world has become? fucking vanity? what happened to being original? or being yourself? obviously everyone is conforming with everyone else. FUCK THAT SHIT!

two for one.

well i was burnt like a bitch last wednesday. its starting to get better. warped tour was awesome of what bands i saw. it would of been nice to of seen protest and anberlin and possible cobra starship. but i needed food and to get out of the sun. i am at the cabin thinger now and its not too shabby. the other night there was a cruise ship that passed by. there are way too many bugs out here. i have to get someone else to kill them or something because i wont touch them. i am kinda dissapointed about the clothing stores. i didnt get much in victoria. this is what i have so far:

• a lulu remix lux hoodie
• a necklace
• a ring
• insense & a holder
• a pair of shoes

i was also given 4 knock off designer bags. 2 fendi, 1 louis vuitton, and one coach. i love them. i also visited my cousin after warped tour. she has 2 dogs and 2 cats. i loved spartacus the most. =) i want to go back there soo bad. i really want to eat some marshmellows right now. i cant wait to go home. mushu is awaiting me. oh well. until the next blog. pce out.

does your mother know?

good god. its august. and i leave for calgary tomorrow. yay for warped tour! im so excited but kinda of sad. im sad because its only like one more month of summer. wah. but i cant wait to go to the coast with amber. its going to be a blast. packing sucks balls. i dont know if i have everything packed yet. ugh. i hope i have everything.... well im out till the 18th. i am stressed out of my face. oh well. it will be worth it in the end. pce ya'll.

disturbia.

oh wow. it has been quite the weekend. the wedding was freaking awesome, supposedly im a great photographer... considering a career in that. danced my ass off. drank sooo much pop. got a huge ass blister on my big toe. but it was all worth it. on my birthday, i got my cake i wanted! driving for 4 hours seems like death when you have to pee the whole way.. but i now know what i want for my birthday... a sewing machine! but supposedly they are like 600 bucks for a 'not so basic' one. i also want a good camera. like a canon. i like those. but today i have been soo tired. i dont know why. bahh i cant wait. im leaving again in 6 days! i got to make sure i can get the next 2 weeks off for my trip. i cant wait till hannah comes back to new dynasty. i will die without her. pce.

crush. crushing. crushed.

i dont know what to think at the moment. so many things are going on its just like blah. my great uncle paul died today. amber cant hang out today (what a surprise -_-). my birthday is in 4 days, and my auntie is buying me a slabbery cake =). my cousin asked me to be the photographer at her reception. i hope i can have some fun too. yesterday i ate like nothing and i had the worst headache ever so i went to sleep at like 7. then woke up at 10. i also found out that audrey kitching's birthday is the day before mine! which is pree fckin sweet. i want to celebrate with her. too bad im not 21... i dont think my sweet sixteen will be all that sweet. my mom is moving in january, and i havent a clue what to do. i mean if i stay here, i dont know where to stay. because we all know that there's no way in hell im staying with my dad.


I wish I could disappear, and run away from all of my fears, I think
I'm coming undone. So stay the night, I promise that I won't bite,
Cause without you there, I don't think I could close my eyes. How
Do I end up this way, a constant knot in my gut tied with
Uncertainty and with lust. A classic case I suppose a haunted
Man who cant outrun his ghosts, there in my skin and my bones.

don't trust a hoe.

honest to fuck. you are making me so fucking mad. you are being such a bitch to me. you owe me so much money its not even funny. its none of your business who paid for my nails or whatever. its not like your paying for anything of mine. you make me want to fucking die. same with your little 'wifey'. no one fucking likes her. she thinks she can run the fucking world. one of these days im going to come up to you and say that im gay. i would like to see the expession on both of your faces. you have never been able to accomodate me with her around and wanting a better house and moving all the fucking time. i liked it before anyone. when we were at st.james. and you made me milkshakes and you let out the couch so i could sleep on it, watch movies till midnight. now you make me milkshakes with fucking protein powder because your lovely darling wife thinks im going fucking anorexic. she is one of the most shittiest mothers out there. she fucking kicked her daughter out at 12! who the hell does that. honestly. im not coming over until you know what you are doing. you cant make me do anything anymore. im pretty well fucking 16. you need to honour that.

hot and cold.

i am kind of mad at you. how you brag like 'oh i might be getting this pierced' or 'i might be getting this phone'. you are pretty spoiled. like you are probably gonna get 200 dollars worth of shit for your sixteenth. i probably wont get that much. i hate it when you brag to me. you dont know how that makes me feel. it makes me feel like you are superior to me. like you have all these better things then i do. sometimes i think you have a loud mouth and sometimes you need to keep some stuff to yourself. yah i realize that your probably jealous of my new phone. but you just want to get something better then me. to make you feel better. whatever.
im excited for my birthday. nine days! oh yah. i have to remind donny for next weekend off. i cant wait for august in general. the coast, freaking warped tour with hannah, raeanne, and amber. fuck. its going to be amazing. oh yah. and mother fucking breaking dawn on august second. cheaaaaaaaaaaa.

you make me love you.

i wish you knew how much i think about you. it seems to be everyday now. its heart breaking to me that it will never happen. your such a ladies man, and i dont truly think you really want a relationship. look at how and why your last one failed. you dated for like what, 2 weeks. she fucking threw herself at you. she wanted you. in class, i would peep over at you and i would catch you looking my way. each time you talked to me was awkward, because you dont know how to start a conversation, but it was like i was talking to someone famous. if i do leave, you will be on my mind more then ever. i think at some point, i will hit a break point, and will just weep. im scared to be alone. i really want you. i hope some day you come to terms and realize it for yourself. until then, i will be waiting in the winds for you.

damn skippy.

fux yes! its summer! that means only 25 days till my birthday. and danielle has a new job! thanks to hannah! so, i had a sleepover with my cousins (lame, i know) and one of my cousins showed me some hilarious saturday night live videos on youtube. they are dear sister, punched in the face before eating, and coin slot creme. holy shit. the dear sister one was sooo funny. but so was the punched one. yesterday it rained horribly. down the street from where i live the water was to my knees. it was ridiculous. ugh, i keep on thinking about him lately. its so bad. i really need to see him. as if you see him and not me. fuck. im going to go crazy. oh well. i will have some things to distract me coming up soon. im probably going to have to go to a funeral pretty soon. god i hate funerals. and this one is in stettler. at least im going to be the guesbook person at my cousins wedding. the day before my birthday! oh man im soo stoked out of my mind for the august trip too. can't wait. summer oh eight, lets make this one a blast.

tricky.

i am growing more and more jealous of my friends. im jealous of their jobs, family, and their stuff. yah, its only stuff, but i always wish that i had that. since i was in elementary, i always thought i got cool things for christmas. but when i got back to school from holidays everyone was saying what neat things they got. i wish that i could overcome this. and just be happy with what i have got. when i talk to you, and i watch and do the same things as you, i always think your going to get mad at me. but you dont. i like the person you are. i wish i could be more like you. i dont think you know how much i look up to you. you do so much for me. i really wish i could repay you. i am going to miss you this summer.

colorful.

so i just finished watching the whole two seasons of skins. it was fucking amazing. does anyone know how i can get the skins soundtrack..? because i cant find barely any songs i like. i mean, its a great show. its nice to know that i have something to relate to. last night i had a better sleep. even though i went to bed at like 12. i got a twelve hour sleep. and i havent gotten out of the house since monday. but all weekend i stayed home. my mom doesnt do shit anymore. she never tells me anything thats going on. and its pissing me off. whatever. its not like im going to her wedding anyway. i have decided i want a voice coach. i want to have a british accent. because its hot. lol. i doubt my summer is going to be all that great. oh well, as chris says, "fuck it".

personal.

so today has been a rollercoater ride for me. at first i was like really nervous, because i had a science final today, then i was happy, because i was done the exam and i found out that i could go to briannes wedding shower, then i got sad, because well of a reason you dont need to know. and now i dont know whether i want to go to her shower or not. i would rather get wasted out of my mind. i dont want to remember much these days. my mom and manwhore got in a arguement im going to call it. and my mom isnt telling me anything about what they said. like fuck. im so frustrated right now. i dont even know if i want to go to her wedding. ugh. i wish i could just escape. i could use a drink or 4 right now. and to boot, my uncle is going to convince me to go to my mom's wedding. i dont give a shit what anyone says, i am not going. "i dont know what kind of girl i am." i want to go somewhere for a while. oh well you look at that. there's the party next weekend. and the only fucking reason i am even going in the first place is because my one cousin cant go. and its only supposed to be '18+'. so im going to be such an outcast. i mean, i will have my cousin there with me, but i mean, shes not going to be with me all the time. and im not that much of a 'social butterfly'. ugh. and i dont want to go out and buy something to wear to this event. fuck. i dont know what to do. ugh. dear lord, help me. entirely.

midnight coward.

so yesterday was the last day of school. i barely got any yearbook signatures because everyone went downtown. oh well. then later we were planning on getting wasted. which we did. i had 2 watermelon smirnoff twisted things (really, it was one and a half, my second one spilled all over the carpet) and 2 tropical orange smoothie bacardi breezers. and in the middle of it, we were watching juno when the power went out. but at like midnight, we were really wasted and decide to go outside. but amber needed to pee. so they pee'd outside... ew. but we went down by lakie and angie was saying how if the police catch us, we are in shit. but we go down there and all of a sudden we like hear some noise and we book it. and i kept on pulling down my pants. and we go back inside and pretty much go to bed from there. then this morning i threw up. blah. (sorry) but when i was sober, we flew a carebears kite. it was pretty fun. i think vodka is my new fave drink. i am not going to drink for a very long while..

the beginning after the end.

its hard to believe that school is pretty well over. i mean, when you start the year off, it seems like forever until its summer again. but im so happy to be done. i dont want to just sit around for the first two weeks. thats what i usually do. then it feels like i wasted so much time i could of been doing stuff with my friends. i should start working out or something. i dont want to just sit and get fat. i should start going by myself. i shouldnt let other people get me down because they cant go with me. i will just go by myself. =) and meet some cute boys. lmao. like that will happen... god. i cant wait till my birthday. i wish i could have a masquerade party. that would be like my dream birthday. omg. i applyed at below the belt yesterday. i hope i get the job. that would make my life right now. lately i have been getting the worst headaches. -_- i guess its time to see the chiropractor again.

headlock..

i know i have been saying this statement wayy too much. but i dont care. fuck my life. i hate social more then ever. and same goes to my father. right now, i think we/i am sooo fucked for this project. p.s: i need to talk to you asap. @&!*%#$!&$# i pretty much want summer right now. oh, i and got the dress =). im not looking forward to this next week because my mom is going to regina from monday till thursday. and everyday of it is going to suck ass. monday shouldnt be all that bad. we are making burgers in foods, science we are going over some shit, fashions = work, social = ?. tuesday is going to be the ultimate death. double science + due date of the major project for social =s. wednesday consists of social final, the written part, *cries*. i really want this social project to work out. i feel like i am slacking. i owe my bff a lot right now at the moment. i want it to be briannes wedding. i get to be the person at the guestbook table.. if that makes any sense. i cant wait till rockband comes out. im probably getting the drum set =). i want to die, i can hear manwhore's snoring. -_-

you can't go back now.

ugh. worst week of my life. im sick. joy. right near those good ol' exams too. coincidence? i have no fucking clue. but it rained like a bitch this week. and it didnt make me happy. because im pretty sure thats what caused my sickness. and thus, i feel like doing nothing. and im going to kill myself tomorrow because we are cooking bloody tacos tomorrow. and i dont think that will help me. if i do anything tomorrow, it will be either cry or throw up. cry because i will do horrible on my science test (thank god byam isnt gonna be there). and throw up, well, need i explain more? so i think im just going to go to bed and read. because i had a bath. and that didnt help. i had some yummy tea, and that didnt help. as i always say, fuck my life.

twelve days.

so i quit my job last weekend. and im so happy i did. they didnt see it coming. my manager was and still is a idiotic moron. but now, im jobless. and i need another job. it really sucks to be 15 because the only jobs that you can really get are in the food industry. and i am not working there again. so far i think im going to apply at future shop. i could do cash, maybe? or stocking shelves. i dont know. i just need to buy lots. i want a new cell phone. i want the new lg venus. lg's are nice phones. lg is just nice altogether. i also want wii fit, rockband (which is coming out for wii the 24th!!!), that ruffle dress, and a bunch of other things i cant think of right now. lol. i havent told my dad yet. and when i do, im making sure he is alone. so that adele cant say shit. and im telling him i am not a quitter. fuck the quitter shit. bahh. i am sooo excited only twelve days till school is out! i guess that means i should start studying. i am so scared. i dont want to fail science. its the number one failed class. =/ social, i am kinda scared for too. but i should do okay. fuck globalization. fuck my life.

she had the world.

so, its tuesday, and i still havent gone to school (damned teachers ans assigning tons of work -_-). im well into my second vampire diaries book, and its been kind of hard to get into. but nonetheless, its pretty good. and i really dont want to back. especially having a long holiday. but it was worth it. but i have no fucking clue what im doing in science. i dont understand one bit of chapter 8. well, i guess we all know who's fucked for that test... me. joy. it looks as if it could rain again, but maybe that was the previous storm. blah. i hope i didnt miss much important things. whatever. i can't wait to go back to work for some reason. i love pretty much everyone there. geez, i am yet again rebooking my hair appointment. because they are always falling on a wednesday. and thats when i work, goddamn it. its going to be a lot shorter. but it should be a decent length for when i graduate. i cant wait for when all my books get realeased. especially breaking dawn, shadow kiss, and blue bloods 3: revalations. once the twilight series is finished, i dont know what im going to do with myself. right at the moment i feel angry. i dont know why. when im reading my vampire diaries book, its filling me with the emotion the main character is feeling. i dont know, its kinda weird. im thinking about keeping a journal, for my sake. but then there is blogspot. but for some of my more private emotions, i might get a diary and put my emotions into that. for now, i guess we'll see how tomorrow goes.

charging.

i hate to be judgemental, but i honestly think you are trying too hard. you are doing all these things just to make friends, or to be someones 'bff'.
on another note, im having a fun time. i dont want to leave. i love victoria, i could probably live here. besides the fact that i saw a woman on crack. no lie. lol. i dont know what else to say... oh, im going to sidney and this sammich place tomorrow. and see harbour seals =). blah. im not looking forward to coming back home. i have so much shit i need to do. blah. stupid school.

around the world.

so, its official. im leaving tomorrow. it kinda sucks because i have to be up at the normal time i am up, and im leaving my kitty for a week and no one is here to take care of him. my auntie and uncle are gone till who knows when, so lets hope they come back tomorrow and can take care of him. i'll miss him but he'll be so mad when we are back. but then he will be all lovey. but im still excited to leave. i cant wait to go shopping either. helloooo victoria:

• lulu hoodie/sweater
• lulu bag
• swim suit
• purse
• whatever else i find. =)

but yah. it'll be cool. but i dont want to do the homework. imma miss sooo much shit. but at least i have the one monday off so i can do it that day. lmao. blah. packing sucks. i dont want to pack heavy, but i need my lappy. well, i dont need it. but i dont feel like rambling on. lol. yay for starbucks tomorrow!

it feels so much like falling.

okay. so work the past two days have been hell/shit. first off, friday was fucking hell. no one fucking came to work so i was all by myself. there was supposed to be four fucking people there. like fuck. so sabrina had to close. and she doesnt even work fucking pantry. im so happy to leave next saturday. then today was better. people actually came to work. but i almost got sent home for nothing. ali was saying shit about how she was drunk/baked and making out with this guy. we got two complaints about that. then people were complaining about not large enough salads. im like fuck. shut the hell up. then bill was describing the school out in comox for me. and it sounds so fucking awesome. its like surrounded by trees. and its like hogwarts and how they have 'houses'. your put into a 'house' that you want to go in type thing. like career wise. and they help you get into a university/college. so they arent leaving you hanging. if it is as awesome as it sounds. im moving. im tired of it. and i cant wait to get my hair done. i want to get it done before i go out to the coast. so im going to see if i can get taralynn to do my hair. hopefully i can get in before i go. =/ people will be so shocked. im soo excited. =)

my arms are outstretched towards you

omg guys. its fucking may. ony six fucking weeks till fucking summer! im excited. and only like another week till im gone for a week! i hope i can get some awesome stuff. and i get paid tomorrow! but i also work. i dont want to work 12-6 on saturday. blahhh. i cant wait till i turn sixteen. so. i am actually trying harder in school. im starting to hand in all my shit. so hopefully i can get higher grades. i want to do the best i can. i want guitar hero and rockband so bad. too bad rockband doesnt come out for the wii. that would make my life. i want to play drums soo bad. it would be so cool because there arent that many girl drummers. i totally found a new band to listen to. flyleaf. they are fucking amazing. god. my mom gave me a gross egg. it was green and she said it was fine. im like, no. its fucking green. i aint eating that shit. lol. i had a weird dream last night. it was about me driving. it was kinda awkward. i hope all goes well.

strawberry fields forever.

so work today was lame. the first two hours i felt fine, but the last two i wanted to throw up and i had a super bad headache. i havent felt so sick in a long time. i hope i dont get sick. urgh. then ali came up to me and was like what can you work and he gave me these lame hours. and i really want to go shopping. i want a pair of skull candy headphones. and a new bag. i guess thats why i have a job. lol. but yah. i probably failed my science test.. im so sad. mr.s-man is gone. he was like the best intern ever. im like super sleepy. i guess i'll make this a short blog. lol.

mama mia. here we go again.

well, the past few days have been just insane. including today.
well yesterday was a fucking rampage. everyone was messing up and behind and people werent taking their food and it was horrible. i met a new bff. and shes adorable. holy fuck. like everyone smokes at work. like smoking is for the weak! they will all get lung cancer and die. and today was iffy. from about 3:30 till 5 was nice and quiet, i could go my own speed, he called me 'dear'. and they had to shut down drive through. the kitchen was behind and they werent letting anyone in till 8. i was like holy shit. and i might not be going to work tomorrow. if this gay ass snow continues, then im probably not going. oh yah, i cant go. my mom is going to church. and same with my dad. so i have no ride. well. that changes things. i should probably email ed or something to let him know. and also tell him about my trip and to ask if i can change my availability. i want to work tuesday instead of sunday. it would be less busy hopefully. and i would be working with stevie. im sooo exhausted. and my feet hurt. oh yah. i also cant go to work tomorrow because i have homework... maybe ed will understand. omgogmogm. i cant wait till monday and tuesday. im making ice cream =) well, orange sherbet. but still, yuuuuuuuummy. =)
okay so i tell my friend that i cant go to her birthday because i dont want to be taking extra time off. im already taking that whole week in may off. and she's like 'so much for 'friends'.' well im fucking sorry. i tell you straight out and you dont like it. if i were to tell you either way you dont like it. its a lose/lose situation. im fucking happy im leaving for a week. i need to get out of here. lethbridge is filled with fucking drama and drama queens.
so, today i was at my grandmas and i was watching tv. i came upon this show on much music about abba. so i decide to watch it, and holy shit. the blonde lead singer is soo gorgeous when she was like 20. and their music is pretty good. i have had mama mia in my head all day. lol. god there has been so much stuff i didnt get done today. i need to stay home from work tomorrow. this is ridiculous. oh yah, and another reason to make my life unhappy at the moment is the fact that manwhore is here. luckily i havent seen him most of the time due to work. thank god for that. and i finally got a paycheck yesterday. =) and im super sleepy but i want to stay on my lappy. its been a while since i have been on here. =)

keep it corroded the rust, the dust.

holy shit. i havent realized how many bitches there are out there. just today i found out what this one guy really says. and holy shit, he's a bitch. thats right. he. god, i hate people. mostly codependent people. they dont know the meaning of love without having to have someone with them all the time. its like the next fucking baby fad. when all the celebs would adopt babies, then everyone else and started adopting. honestly. omg, my dad might be getting me a few lessons for either drums or guitar. i really hope he does. because i would love to learn either. oh yah, then he's probably gonna sign me up for drivers education. so im gonna actually learn how to drive in the city. oh joy. :rolleyes: but at least i can have practice. i have no idea where im gonna find all this time to do all this. maybe when the swiss slows down (if it ever does) i'll go do all this. im seriously going to kill myself. we need more people in pantry. there's no way in hell im working sunday by myself. i get the fucking church/lunch crowd. and stevie can't fucking work. what the hell am i going to do. i know im probably blowing this totally out of proportion, but i dont deal with stress that easily. people say these things that sound to simple. but for me its the whole nine yards.

do you think about me now and then.

well, i have been thinking if getting a job was a good idea or not. i mean the hours i got this week suck. im not going to be able to work like all these hours they have given me. i wanted a job. not a job thats gonna move school work out of the way. fucking sunday im working all by my fucking self. im not even that confident to be working salads AND desserts alone. they need to hire more people. 2 people is not enough for a shift, let alone one person. there needs to be at least 3 people each shift. i doubt i am going to be able to switch my shifts. im kinda jealous of stevies shifts. they would work sooo much better for me. but i hate to be so nitpicky about my shifts right away. but addison did say shit about 'accomodating to people'. im so frustrated right now. i would like to tell a therapist my problems, but i dont think that would solve anything. and getting a therapist would probably cost a lot. but i dont know who i would tell any of my problems to. i cant trust my dad because he would fucking tell the whole world. oh thanks dad for letting the whole fucking place hear the real side of me. i would just love to tell everyone who i hate straight up. and why i hate them. urgh, thinking about all this shit is giving me a headache. but for all of you, its something to think about.

falling on.

so this past week has been eventful. i have officially started training. im in pantry. its soo fun. i getta make people salads and desserts. yummy! i cant wait to try some of the cheesecake. also this past week, there was the junos. feist was amazing. even though i didnt go it was still amazing. im just soo happy im working in the same area as my friend. if i was all alone, i would kill myself. even though they want me to take off my nails. its not fucking nail polish people. these dont come off like nail polish. so they can fuck me sideways. there is one person i do not like so far. oh wait, make that two. but luckily they arent im my department, so they cant tell me shit. plus, im wearing gloves. fuck, i want cheesecake now. well, i guess i will have some tonight. brad told stevie, ali, and i that he would make us something special. lol.

i am me.

omg, its freaking april. only like what, 3 months left of school? where the fuck does time go? its been a blast and a half though. so, im totally going to comox in may. im soo excited. havent been there in like 2 years. im soo happy im flying there. if i was driving there, i would be making hannah's throwing up noises the whole time. lol. i would seriously like to tell people straight up what i think of them. maybe if i move to comox, i will tell people what i think of them before i go. but it all depends on the school. if they have the right courses, im fucking leaving. and then i can fly to see my friends or my soon to be stepdad will send my friends out there. amber should totally move after she finishes school. and yah. it would be soo awesome. we could hook up with some haw-t's. =) i cant wait to eat creme brulee in an olive dish. hehe. i loved eating cookies while sitting on the floor and reading horton hears a who. it was like grade two again. minus mean teacher. i cant wait to see where life decides to take me...

danielle, your hired.

so today at first was lame, kinda. i got my nails re-did. they are now black tips with blue and orange stripes underneath. my next appointment is in may and im gonna get 'coral shine' tips. they'll look hawt. when i was getting my nails done, my mom got an 'ionic cleanse' on her feet. fuck, her water was fucking black. and it looked like black with fucking mold in it. and its cool because from the water you can tell what came out from you. like my mom was a smoker and you could tell by the water being all black and gross. after that sick shit, we went to my grandmas (and may i note i was tired all this time, i wanted to drop dead) and she got her feet detoxed as well. but the water wasnt as gross as my mothers. i dont want to see that shit again. then we went home. then i came to see if swiss chalet emailed me (i emailed my resume yesterday) and i check my email and it says i have three unread emails, and i was like oohhh. so i see and there it is. and email asking if i wanted an interview. i was like fucks yes. so i went down at 5. it was a little creepy. it was this concrete place and it was like fucking walking to your death or something. but im not gonna lie. they were fucking hilarious. and i'll admit, addison was on the haw-t side. he fucking has blue eyes.. /drool. and the other guy was pree hawt too. but they all have a good sense of humor. anywho. danielle got hired =) and that earth hour was awesome. i went to the bathroom with the lights off. be jelluz. :cool:

compliment each other like colors.

i love my friends. spending time with amber 2 was fun. we went to the mall and bought starbucks like 3 times. lol. im fucking broke now. maybe i will try to send my resume again. and hope that they read it. and be like, BAM! interview then, BAM! danielle has a job. lol. but seriously. i ate so much shit this weekend. i guess its a good thing we walked to the mall today. and then this random guy was like 'hello ladies'. he probably that i was a total haw-t. haha. i love all our pictures. i love how im like in the majority of them. haha. whose a camera whore. lol. im really not. i look pretty good considering my hair looked like shit. im getting my nails done tomorrow. i have no idea what im gonna do to them yet. i love how amber 2 is obsessed with neil cicierega. he makes awesome videos and he's fucking amazing. his one man band is called lemon demon. go listen to it. NAO!

hey moon don't you go down.

shopping was soo fun. even though the gate wasnt open. we froze. went and got chocolate soy milk, stale cinnamon buns, and fruitopia. and we also got a pack of 12 glow sticks. it was fun. i also saw hannah and raeanne at the mall. which was quite spectacular. i bought the new panic cd. its pretty. odd. lol. but seriously, its pretty awesome. i just ate a bunch of beef jerky. why the fuck did i just tell you that? i dont know. but i got to see raven, his girlfriend, and amber. his girlfriend is pretty nice. so i totally finished blue bloods today. god, that was an awesome book. i cant wait to get on the second one, masquerade. im in love with vampires. i love how they are immortal and cant be destroyed. i would love to be a vampire. i want to suck peoples blood... and i also want to see how the world is gonna turn out. there's gonna be some sort of war. some say there will be a world war 3 or a civil war...
lol, i totally made my glowsticks into a flower. lol @ glowing ass. im enjoying playing with my little kinder surprise toy. its quite amuzing. if im ever bored in school, im gonna play with it. aweh. my kitty is laying right by me. omfg. i cant wait till big brother. evel dick is coming back. i want to see what his evil tactics are. muahaha.
i cant believe its already tuesday. that means tomorrow is gonna be wednesday. and thats already half the week gone pretty well. i need to start doing some of my homework so i can cook on monday. and i need to really start doing my social homework. i swear, fletch hates me. when i get back, i have to actually sew and do shit. urgh, i hate social. i hate fucking 'juliet'. im not even gonna get started. because i will have a relaxing holiday. =)

Bucket Tee.

lol. i love the greeno side of my family.i enjoy them quite much. omg. maverick is sooo cute. i want a brittney. i love how im taller than most of them. but all in all my eater was pretty good. oh and for that list.. i got the tna hoodie and lulu pants. but no lulu hoodie... next trip. =) i also got 4 pairs of shorts (one with sups), 2 shirts, and of course the slabbery. with mother fucking mini eggs. =) it was orgasmic.
i hope i can go hang with amber 2 tomorrow. because she's awesome.
oh and i can't wait till brianne comes to lethy to get her dress altered. that means shopping. then i cant wait for her wedding. maybe she will give me one of her coach or prada bags for my birthday since its the day after her wedding. 'my bag is real, unlike your face.' =)

its looks as though your letting go.

well, i think that this week will be interesting. im going to calgary on friday and staying till saturday, and of course my dad doesnt approve. he was all like, this is my time with you for easter. i dont see why i just cant go with him on sunday. anywho i have a list of what i want.

• tna hoodie
• lululemon hoodie
• lululemon pants
• slabbery
• shirts
• pants
• possibly a tna or lulu bag
• fcuk something or other
  

i think it should be a successful trip this time. =)

god, i really like social now. i dont want mr.strikwerda to leave. i like the way he teaches.
urgh, my dad is really starting to piss me off. somethings i want him to nevermind about he wants to know. like i think he has a little but of an anger issue. he needs to learn to cool it.

i have some new shiiit to listen to! the hush sound (thanks to hannah), and die mannequin. they'z be'z pree goodz. /'z'

i can't believe kat vond d is going out with nikki sixx. he's like what? in his late forty's and shes in like her mid 20's... ew. and she tattoo'd orbi soo much. i think she did 7 tat's on him.
fuck i want a chai tea frappuccino right now. im pree sure im gonna fail that social test tomorrow. god, i have soo much shit to do tomorrow.

• shower/do hair
• pack some things
• watch la ink
• await man whore
• charge iPod

thats all i can really think of right now to blog. lates.
OH! and p.s if you are reading this, i need to talk to you asap.

versus.

people need to start picking their battles. like, if i ever get into a pointless argument, i will just stop from now on, because it's not worth fighting for. i need to stop fighting pointless battles. it's going to get my absolutely no where. i am going to be getting into some serious battles, with myself. and im not about to talk about that. i will approach the bridge when it comes to be the time. right now, i need to relax and get out.
p.s: im pretty well over you. =)

today's the day.

lol, so today i thought social was going to be absolute death, but it wasn't all that bad. 'air' was saying how laren's sister was hot. i was like wtf? and he was singing 'stop and stare', which is now stuck in my head thanks to him, and 'shaketramp'. and i let him know my hate for that song. i think the more i talk to him, i'll get over him. because i think he likes this other girl that i dont really care for. and i really hate 'juliet'. she says the most dumbest things ever. probably for more participation marks so that she will have a high mark. but srsly, no one should say that dumb of things. yes, its social, but some things that make you sound really stupid. no wonder your fucking blonde.
fuck, i need to wear my retainer. my mouth is starting to hurt, but when i put it in, its probably not gonna help anything.
i want my purple re-dyed to white. i also want my hair re-shaped(?). i want my part to be at the back, or more like audrey kitchings.. my mom needs to make me an appt. with my auntie.

i only look happy. but really, i want to kick your ass.

so today i think was a successful day, shopping wise. i found something new i like at starbucks: chai tea frappuccino. and amber bought me a g-string. lmfao.
school on the other hand... ha. well jenny was being a total bitch. i didnt say, oh yah jenny take my mini eggs. good lord. maybe if you werent such a bitch, i would give you some. like you share with anyone. your always mooching from people. you have a fucking job, so buy your own fucking shit.
i applied at giant tiger again, as well as green acres. so hopefully i can get a job so my dad will get off my back. im feeling pretty confident. i have one spare resume, so maybe i can go apply somewhere else if neither of those places call. i think i might need to set up an appointment with one of those job councellors. see if im doing anything wrong...
luscious is getting put down tomorrow. shes been through a lot. shes 11, 77 in dog years, and thats pretty good for a rottweiler. still, imma miss her little stub of a tail wagging when i walk in the door. and her howling when my dad does, and her 'speaking' to get a treat. and her sucking up to my dad to get a treat. i need to stop talking about her before i start crying...
im seriously starting to hate on 'juliet'. you can totally tell she flirts with 'air'. yeah, i like him still, and i think i dont have a chance with him, but still, im feeling territorial, and i dont know why.
ugh, i still dont know if i want to move to comox or not. im trying to pick out pros and cons about going. like, i hate lethy, but all my friends and family i have ever known lives here, and i havent really had to make this big a move in my life. and they are trying to presuade me to go to a place i have only been once. and your not going to do that. like they have been lots of times on 'holidays' and they wouldnt take me. like i did have a choice if i wanted to go at the beginning of the year, but im not going to do that because i need to figure out my classes, and get to know people in my classes. so hopefully i can figure these things out. rip luscious. =(

its march. p.s fryed.

so, its march. and what have i accomplished in 2008? not a hell of a lot. hell, i didnt even get a call back from taco time. lmfao, thats okay thought, because fast food isnt the greatest place to be working at. i would rather work at giant tiger or something.
im probably gonna have to get my purple re-dyed at the end of the month, probs. so, if i want to go lighter, im probably gonna have to get it beached twice again. as well as the color on top of that. im not too sure what color to go with though. im not going with some crazy color, because crazy colors fade too fast. and look funny when they fade.
my new fave band at the moment is the raveonettes. they are fucking amazing. they are a danish duo. the girl is soo pretty. oh, i want her guitar. then possibly rape it. =o

oh and, p.s: im not so over you. yet.

Leap Day. 2008.

so today is leap day. so for today i have has 3 tests, and going for an interview. so hopefully it works out. i really want to go to cancer bats tomorrow and also go to city and colour. but i dont think my mom trusts me to go. and its not fair. i want to have a life and get out, but shes always so tired. i mean, i know what shes getting at, but still. i dont want to be locked up in the house all the time.
i really wish i didnt have jealousy. i get jealous all the time. even if its something small. like an item of clothing (okay, so thats not really jealousy, its more envy) or a phone, or boyfriend. im not gonna go there. i be myself everyday. and people mock me. and i think my friends mock my dreams too. maybe i need new friends. or i just need to get out.

the sound of our voices made us forget everything.

fuck, i need to push him out of my mind. before i go insane. or get more sad. i dont like being sad. but luckily i have friends that make me happy and being with happy people makes it hard for me to be sad. which is good. and it makes me not think of him. and plus, i dont even think he likes me like that. even though i do... jesus, this sucks.

Brit Awards Are Sex.

i feel like i havent been accomplishing much these days. i need something to do that is productive and 'hands-on'. like, i have always wanted to curl. but my mom never signs me up. its retarded, because i feel like im having to do everything myself, which i shouldnt have to be in this alone. i need to start doing my homework, and going for walks, or something to that sort.
fuck me, i want cinnamon streusel mini-wheats.
i wish i could go live in london or milan. thats where the fashion is and that's a place that is far away and i dont have to deal with the 'lethbridge scene' and living situations. hell, maybe i would have a better chance at a job at either of those places.
in fashions, i totally wanna make a pair of wicked awesome skinnies that have some awesome pattern, like a leopard print or something. i need to go find some fabric first. i also want my mother to buy me this outfit on jessica louise. click here =)

this is serious business.

im so happy that manwhore is gone. its always less tense when he leaves. i hate it how he is starting to act like my second father. i already have a second mother. -_-
it just sucks. because i feel like i have to please both my parents. like i want to be at 2 places at once, but i can't. sometimes i wonder what it would be like if things were different. like if my parents were still together. and they weren't like what they were... a girl can dream.
i didn't get the chance to do my stalking. we didnt go to church. how ironic..
i hate how i freak myself out. like, sometimes i freak myself out about death, and being alone forever. it almost scares me to the point that i want to breakdown.
when i cry, its not usually when im physically hurt, but when im emotionally hurt. it sucks. the only thing that keeps me going right now is music. it seems that some artists are compliant with you. and know what you are going though. sometimes that realization makes me cry.

urgh. i swear, im going to either
1) kill myself
2) kill everybody else.
because i would rather be dead then be on this world right now. i mean, i cant help myself. i swear,i wouldnt be surprised if i have ocd. i dont want to drift apart. can i cry now?

i need to stop eating micro mini eggs..

okay so manwhore is here. and if anyone doesnt know who he is, he's my mom's fiancee. to tell you the truth, i hate him. he doesnt know how to treat me because he has never really been around teenagers in his life. and he thinks i do bad things. at least i didnt go off and blow up apple trees using household chemicals. sheesh.

i think im going to start cutting back on swearing. i dont think that the guys think that its all that attractive. plus, i want to try to be a better person to myself and to others.

i seriously wonder if he goes to my dad's church. if he did, i could totally do some stalking. god. i also found his facebook too. i was staring at it for at least 15 minutes. i dont know if i should add him. but then and again he doesnt know, so what could be the worst that happens. 'oh yah, i know you like me.' that would mean some serious business. oh my. i cannot start saying that again. i got my cousin and her friend to start saying it. oh god. the teenage 'chat speak'.

touch me.

today i got my hairrr done. =) its purple underneath. and like dark brown, almost black, on top. it looks so awesome. it took two and a half a fucking hour. the bottom had to be bleached twice. getting it bleached wasn't fun. there were many times i wanted to gag or throw up because of the smell. and my hair still smells like hair dye. its disgusting. but i love it. my mom doesnt want me to get my hair dyed after this so that it doesnt wreck my hair. i eventually plan on shaving my hair off and giving it to cancer. so that someone with cancer can have their hair back. omfg. but srsly. in social, that was just hilarious. im going to be obsessed with that song now just because im obsessed with him. i swear, i lol'd so hard. i wish....

many things.

so, im getting my hair done tomorrow. and im pree stoked. i want it to look something like audrey kitching. but it wont be pink. because i dont think pink hair would look all that good on me. i also wish i could get a piercing. if my family wouldnt spazz, i would probably get a nose or belly button piercing.

i wish my mom would let me use her credit card so i could buy things online. because most a lot of stores are overrated and people will most likely have the same things as you. then that doesnt make you original.

i think i will start blogging on here. so that it doesnt make me a blog whore. lololololol.

im kinda crazy for you.

im really crazy about him. i need to stop obsessing because i dont usually get what i want. you seem to like me. and i can return those feelings. ugh. i wish my family wouldnt be all 'i need to get my shotgun ready'. like, im sure you had your fair share of crushes. i mean, he's a pree dece guy. today felt special. i miss you already. tomorrow we have a double so i can see your lovely face for 2 hours.

dj tiesto is yummy.

sometimes i wonder if things were different. like if i was brought up in a different family. or if i had an unconditional boyfriend or something. would that make me a different person?

Oh Haii, August 2, Please Come NAO!

so i was thinking, maybe i should go take a "break" at my aunties this weekend. my dad probably wouldnt be pleased, but what can he do about it.

who's sorry now?

anywho, im almost done the twilight series for the third time in a row. once im done eclipse, im heading on to wuthering heights. then to a new book i recently aquired called vampire acadamy. i cant wait till breaking dawn comes out. like im so fucking obsessed that im going to eventually get a shirt that says 'Real Men Sparkle' on it. yes, im that hardcore. and when i go see the movie, im totally gonna take a sign that says "if you dont shut up during the movie, Victoria will come hunt you in your sleep". i would totally do that. omg, i want that blue hoodie, and shorts.
http://www.shopjessicalouise.com/vagiho.html
and
http://www.shopjessicalouise.com/vampireshorts.html

i wish they werent expensive...

Life..

okay so last night when i went to my aunties house to watch house and la ink my auntie gail called my mom and asked if i wanted to take a "break" and go stay at her place for some time. my dad calls me and asks for my mother, then my mom goes off into her room, so i try and sneak so i can hear. so they are going to go "talk" even though im not sure how well its going to be a civilized conversation between them both. like is so fucked up right now. because im not going to go live with my dad when my mom moves out to comox. so if i had to choose who i wanted to live with, i would probably choose my auntie gail because she understands me. we both can't get along with my stepmother even though how hard we try. i mean, shes a total know-it-all bitch. like she fucking kicked out her daughter when she was only 12. and like they were living in a small town, so where the fuck is she supposed to go. like even though she was doing drugs, don't kick her out, get her some help and keep her inside from the dealers. like holy shit. learn how to fucking parent. just don't use me as a fucking experiment. and i need a job. like i swear, i will just fuck it up. urgh. if someone could refer me to some place, that would be great. i just want out of this whole fucking mess and that it would be happy before bitch and manwhore suddenly popped up.

haii, thurrr.

So, my friends got a blog thing, so, i got one. because well,
i follow people. And Im cool like that. =)