standing in the way of control.

i want to go to a place where no one knows me. i want to start all over. i need to change my attitude i just need to change everything. i want to forget about everything that has happened to me and start new. but where i am at now, that isnt going to happen. if my loved ones are going west, i want to go east. if they are going north, i want to go south. just me being here makes me unhappy and reminds me of everything negative that has ever happened. i want to go and do things that i have always wanted to do. i feel weighed down like i have people standing in my way from what i wish to do. but i am always afraid of rejection. sometimes i feel that the only person who is standing in the way of control, is me.