this is serious business.

im so happy that manwhore is gone. its always less tense when he leaves. i hate it how he is starting to act like my second father. i already have a second mother. -_-
it just sucks. because i feel like i have to please both my parents. like i want to be at 2 places at once, but i can't. sometimes i wonder what it would be like if things were different. like if my parents were still together. and they weren't like what they were... a girl can dream.
i didn't get the chance to do my stalking. we didnt go to church. how ironic..
i hate how i freak myself out. like, sometimes i freak myself out about death, and being alone forever. it almost scares me to the point that i want to breakdown.
when i cry, its not usually when im physically hurt, but when im emotionally hurt. it sucks. the only thing that keeps me going right now is music. it seems that some artists are compliant with you. and know what you are going though. sometimes that realization makes me cry.

urgh. i swear, im going to either
1) kill myself
2) kill everybody else.
because i would rather be dead then be on this world right now. i mean, i cant help myself. i swear,i wouldnt be surprised if i have ocd. i dont want to drift apart. can i cry now?